Hi {{ first name | Reader }},
Remember getting a scrape as a kid and anxiously checking its healing progress every day? Well, new research says that how quickly your wounds heal is directly attributed to something I bet you’ve never thought of…
Here’s the story.
In 2011, researchers at the University of Zurich did something that sounds almost unkind. They took 80 couples, gave each person four small suction-blister wounds on the forearm and sent them home for a week.
🙋♂️ Half the couples got a nasal spray of oxytocin, the so-called "love hormone."
The other half got a placebo.
🙋♂️ Half were given a structured exercise to express appreciation to their partner each day.
The other half were left alone.
The researchers measured how fast the wounds healed for both groups.
The results, published last November in JAMA Psychiatry, were extraordinary (Schneider et al., 2025). Couples who received oxytocin and engaged in affectionate touch or sexual intimacy healed faster than everyone else. The researchers concluded something I want you to sit with for a moment. Oxytocin, they wrote, functions as a social amplifier rather than a standalone therapeutic (Schneider et al., 2025).
Translation: the hormone doesn't heal you. The relationship heals you. The hormone just turns up the volume on what's already happening between two human beings who feel safe with each other.
Here's where it gets personal for all of us.
We are wired to heal in the presence of people who love us, at the skin, cortisol and immune response levels.
Not metaphorically. Literally. Your wounds close faster.
And the reverse is also true.
In a landmark study, married couples were brought into a hospital research unit, given small standardised wounds and then asked to discuss a topic of disagreement. Couples who behaved more hostilely toward each other healed roughly 40% slower than couples who didn't (Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 2005).
Zoom out further, and the picture becomes undeniable. A meta-analysis of 148 studies covering more than 300,000 people found that people with stronger social relationships have a 50% greater likelihood of survival over the follow-up period, regardless of age, sex, or baseline health (Holt-Lunstad, Smith, and Layton, 2010). A follow-up analysis put loneliness and social isolation on the same risk level as obesity and substance abuse (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015).
Now apply this to what we are seeing relationships around the world.
When a family unit breaks down, like when a parent and adult child stop speaking, when a sibling cuts contact, or when a marriage dissolves into roommates, we lose a lot more than company. We lose access to one of the most powerful pharmacies the human body has ever evolved.
Hugs that lower cortisol.
The hand on the shoulder that tells our nervous system you're safe, stand down.
The breath that synchronized with someone else's across a dinner table.
This is why people in lonely households get more colds, heal more slowly from surgery, and die younger. This is why I keep coming back, in this newsletter and in my work, to the same point:
Estrangement and breakups hurt in your body, not just your heart. This is why grief makes people physically sick.
Family is not a Hallmark card. It's medicine. And it's the most under-prescribed therapy on earth.
I understand that there’s nuance here. This doesn't mean every family is safe. It doesn't mean reconciliation is always possible or wise. But it does mean that the longing you feel for connection isn't weakness or sentiment. It's your body, doing what it was designed to do, asking for what it was designed to need.
This week, I challenge you to do one thing to connect with someone. Call the relative you've been meaning to call. Sit closer to your partner on the couch. Hug your kid or pet for ten seconds longer than feels normal.
Your immune system will thank you for it.
Breathe well,
Richard
There are things you can do to help support you mental health when relationships are fractured, like supplements that have scientific evidence to reduce anxiety and depression symptoms.
I am not saying supplements are going to fix your broken heart. But I do get a lot of questions about what people can take to support their baseline physical and mental health.
Here are my top 5 recommendations.
USE code BLAKE for an additional discount.
My code stacks on the standard 25% to give 35% off new subscriptions or 14% off one-time purchases.
Note: I genuinely recommend all of the products I share here with you, some of which may support the work I do.
References
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T.B. and Layton, J.B. (2010) 'Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review', PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. doi:10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316.
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T.B., Baker, M., Harris, T. and Stephenson, D. (2015) 'Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review', Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), pp. 227–237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352.
Kiecolt-Glaser, J.K., Loving, T.J., Stowell, J.R., Malarkey, W.B., Lemeshow, S., Dickinson, S.L. and Glaser, R. (2005) 'Hostile marital interactions, proinflammatory cytokine production, and wound healing', Archives of General Psychiatry, 62(12), pp. 1377–1384. doi:10.1001/archpsyc.62.12.1377.
Schneider, E., Hernández, C., Brock, R., Eckstein, M., Bodenmann, G., Heinrichs, M., Ehlert, U., Läuchli, S. and Ditzen, B. (2025) 'Intranasal oxytocin and physical intimacy for dermatological wound healing and neuroendocrine stress: a randomized clinical trial', JAMA Psychiatry. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2025.3705.